I am in no condition to meet girls...

Well its been a few days since i've written and i thought it time to jot down my thoughts. This blogging thing is good. Well today's another Sunday and today's another Sunday i didn't go to church. Because of my travel schedule i won't be going for the next couple of weeks either. So the question is what do i do? Continue going to church or not?

I think i might pick up going back to church but honestly, i don't know what i'll do or where i'll go. I think i may go wherever my parents go but i won't choose. I haven't really learned anything and if it makes my parents happy in their old age then i'll do it but when they pass away and i'm on my own (because at this rate i won't be getting married) i won't be going anywhere. Sunday mornings will turn into Bailey's and Starbucks quality time.

I realized with harsh reality today that most of my good friends are married and are starting to have children. Wow, is all i can say because i can't manage more than 1 date with a girl.

One of my good Malayalee friends told me this week, i need to stop having a pity party for myself. Well, i can't, because i feel my life is over. I met the best and somehow i ain't good enough. I think its because i'm too traditional, i got my pundi, i don't dress well enough and i have incredibly conservative points of view. Why was i blessed with the curse of living and being reared with conservative, religious, TRADITIONAL parents?

My parents found another girl, somewhere in NY. Should i write to her? I don't know, i really don't want to. I mean, my attitude is going to suck big time, i don't want to meet anyone at this time, i just want to sulk and feel sorry for myself. My mom keeps saying that once i got serious about trying to find a wife, i kept getting better ones. This girls feels like a step backwards. Besides my cousin found her and my cousin doesn't associate with non-Malayalees and the last girl she introduced me to was a disaster.

My mom keeps comparing my struggle to Job and Paul in the Bible. She says they suffered greatly but overcame in the end. My mindset is this, if you don't truly believe the Bible then these are merely stories.

OK, enough random thoughts.