Well its been a few days since i've written and i thought it time to jot down my thoughts. This blogging thing is good. Well today's another Sunday and today's another Sunday i didn't go to church. Because of my travel schedule i won't be going for the next couple of weeks either. So the question is what do i do? Continue going to church or not?
I think i might pick up going back to church but honestly, i don't know what i'll do or where i'll go. I think i may go wherever my parents go but i won't choose. I haven't really learned anything and if it makes my parents happy in their old age then i'll do it but when they pass away and i'm on my own (because at this rate i won't be getting married) i won't be going anywhere. Sunday mornings will turn into Bailey's and Starbucks quality time.
I realized with harsh reality today that most of my good friends are married and are starting to have children. Wow, is all i can say because i can't manage more than 1 date with a girl.
One of my good Malayalee friends told me this week, i need to stop having a pity party for myself. Well, i can't, because i feel my life is over. I met the best and somehow i ain't good enough. I think its because i'm too traditional, i got my pundi, i don't dress well enough and i have incredibly conservative points of view. Why was i blessed with the curse of living and being reared with conservative, religious, TRADITIONAL parents?
My parents found another girl, somewhere in NY. Should i write to her? I don't know, i really don't want to. I mean, my attitude is going to suck big time, i don't want to meet anyone at this time, i just want to sulk and feel sorry for myself. My mom keeps saying that once i got serious about trying to find a wife, i kept getting better ones. This girls feels like a step backwards. Besides my cousin found her and my cousin doesn't associate with non-Malayalees and the last girl she introduced me to was a disaster.
My mom keeps comparing my struggle to Job and Paul in the Bible. She says they suffered greatly but overcame in the end. My mindset is this, if you don't truly believe the Bible then these are merely stories.
OK, enough random thoughts.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Thursday, November 1, 2007
My Dad's Words...
So my dad came into my room tonight after i had taken a shower and wanted to give me his advice. He doesn't tell me he's giving advice but he just spouts off his hate.
See its been a month since i came back from out West to see the girl and besides the "you don't talk enough comment" i haven't been able to get a hold of her (even though I tried.) She's probably screening my calls or whatever.
Anyways my dad had 6 comments:
1) Other girls parents are calling and i don't know what to tell them.
2) You are like a villian on the movies and tv.
3) You are a shame (that's a direct quote), if some girl doesn't like you what is your problem.
4) This house is a graveyard because of you.
5) God has a better girl for you somewhere.
6) You are past XX years, you are past the marrying age. You have to take what you can get.
When my dad gives his advice/hate, he's basically yelling at me. I mean his voice is raised and if i raise my voice back it becomes a tit for tat. So, my response now is to turn my back on him and ignore him. I hate it when he is like this, because all he does is hurt me. Well dad, this blog is right back at you.
Here are my responses to your comments:
1) Other girls parents are calling? Well first tell them to fuck off then ask them if their daughter is educated, oh no she isn't because she's from India and you can't afford it? Oh, you expect me to fund her education, well fuck off.
2) You are like a villian on the TV and movies. Dad you don't even watch movies, and the TV you watch is the 10pm news. What the fuck do you know about villians?
3) You are a shame - that's a good one, its now number 3 on the "let's support our son on his self-esteem quest" it follows, "You are average" and "You are a low-status"...no wonder i want to get on an anti-depressive. Can you imagine putting up with this shit for the last number of years? Its fucked...who's parents do this kind of shit?
4) This house is a graveyard because of you. Um...i come home, i take a shower, i go to my room. I don't bother you, you don't bother me. What the fuck do you want from me? Should i move out? Will that make you feel better? I mean then the house won't be a graveyard although the two residents in the house are closer to the grave than i am.
5) God has a better girl for you somewhere. Where? I met her and i got fucked. I saw and met the best and because my father never spoke to me growing up and i never had any legitimate male role models i'm supposed to believe there's someone better? Fuck no. God's a great joker.
6) Lastly, the marrying age discussion. Hmmm...this search started 3 years ago and most of the girls i've rejected or i've been rejected. So, who's fault is this? I go back to a previous post when i say, i've been mis-guided into thinking that by obeying my parents, getting an education, being a good christian etc. would get me the girl of my dreams. How much further from the truth that is. I mean fuck, my brother who disobeyed his parents, didn't finish his masters until he was married is much more happier than i. Why the FUCK did i choose to obey my parents? Its caused me nothing but hardship. So i guess the answer is mine, i was stupid enough to obey my parents.
I need a stiff drink, if only i could find the vodka that my mother hid.
See its been a month since i came back from out West to see the girl and besides the "you don't talk enough comment" i haven't been able to get a hold of her (even though I tried.) She's probably screening my calls or whatever.
Anyways my dad had 6 comments:
1) Other girls parents are calling and i don't know what to tell them.
2) You are like a villian on the movies and tv.
3) You are a shame (that's a direct quote), if some girl doesn't like you what is your problem.
4) This house is a graveyard because of you.
5) God has a better girl for you somewhere.
6) You are past XX years, you are past the marrying age. You have to take what you can get.
When my dad gives his advice/hate, he's basically yelling at me. I mean his voice is raised and if i raise my voice back it becomes a tit for tat. So, my response now is to turn my back on him and ignore him. I hate it when he is like this, because all he does is hurt me. Well dad, this blog is right back at you.
Here are my responses to your comments:
1) Other girls parents are calling? Well first tell them to fuck off then ask them if their daughter is educated, oh no she isn't because she's from India and you can't afford it? Oh, you expect me to fund her education, well fuck off.
2) You are like a villian on the TV and movies. Dad you don't even watch movies, and the TV you watch is the 10pm news. What the fuck do you know about villians?
3) You are a shame - that's a good one, its now number 3 on the "let's support our son on his self-esteem quest" it follows, "You are average" and "You are a low-status"...no wonder i want to get on an anti-depressive. Can you imagine putting up with this shit for the last number of years? Its fucked...who's parents do this kind of shit?
4) This house is a graveyard because of you. Um...i come home, i take a shower, i go to my room. I don't bother you, you don't bother me. What the fuck do you want from me? Should i move out? Will that make you feel better? I mean then the house won't be a graveyard although the two residents in the house are closer to the grave than i am.
5) God has a better girl for you somewhere. Where? I met her and i got fucked. I saw and met the best and because my father never spoke to me growing up and i never had any legitimate male role models i'm supposed to believe there's someone better? Fuck no. God's a great joker.
6) Lastly, the marrying age discussion. Hmmm...this search started 3 years ago and most of the girls i've rejected or i've been rejected. So, who's fault is this? I go back to a previous post when i say, i've been mis-guided into thinking that by obeying my parents, getting an education, being a good christian etc. would get me the girl of my dreams. How much further from the truth that is. I mean fuck, my brother who disobeyed his parents, didn't finish his masters until he was married is much more happier than i. Why the FUCK did i choose to obey my parents? Its caused me nothing but hardship. So i guess the answer is mine, i was stupid enough to obey my parents.
I need a stiff drink, if only i could find the vodka that my mother hid.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)